i love life


i am a hopeless romantic and one bad date away from being cynical. i am a sucker for the written word. i love robert jordan, as much as that performance artist lady gaga or that crackwhore amy winehouse. i like reality shows and every tv show which exploits drama. I love TYRA, with her narcissism and her smize..i curse, weep and howl. i hate dumb people, and yet i think i am dumb most of the time. i am a drama queen, but i also smile the sweetest of smiles and bellow ear-shattering laughters. i frown at incompetence but screams for pleasure. i squirm when bored and squirm when tittilated. i am a connoisseur of visual and aural feasts--of all things ethereal and sublime ; ghastly and profane; a sense of aesthetics is my best friend, i like latex and pvc. i am a friend. a confidant. a lover. a mistress. a doting girlfriend. i am a creature who enjoys pigging-out on her favorite food in silence while watching crappy reality shows,then feels guilty after. i am butter melting deliciously on your tongue. i am narcissistic and extremely vain.a camera-whore who flirts with the lens on like, a regular basis. i am edward-smitten;and chris evan too.and everyday i adore a different man. i live in the present, and pop culture is my religion;i am always politically correct, but i think political correctness leads us to think like a herd, i dont think its a fault of people to think differently from mine, until we take the time to make a difference, but i take maliscious happiness in the misery of others and i religiously read perezhilton and tmz for my favorite celebrity like britney and others, and i secretly wish that lindsay will fuck it up , drink and sound the scram bracelet once more and be thrown in jail... . i am sometimes, laid back, i start and have no follow through like this blog which i have forgotten so many times. i am a person with so many gifts, and i feel like i owe it to myself to write my experiences, because i have been gifted with so much and i need to share it to the world,
.i kick myself when i fail, i hug myself when i succeed. i dare to live in waking dreams. i am a bit of a tragedy and a resounding success. i am beauty and ugliness. i love my body because its strong and i hate it because its strong. i always wish to be thinner, but i always wish to be healthier. i am a walking irony. i am dominant , but passive-aggressive. i am sane and crazy. i am happy and sad. i am shadow and light. agony and ecstasy. cold as ice. hot as fire. ..take a deep breathe
love me or hate me.
i am wholistic and i am real.
i am far from perfect.



cage me up

cage me up

Saturday, December 8, 2007

This is ADDICTIVE, I love Posting


I found some OLD PHOTOS browsing thru My memorycard...Wow now I know I gained weight. I was denying it for a bit...
But now I know I did.
Thats the first step to getting healthy. To be able to realize and accept that yeah...my favorite pair of jeans is a smidgen tighter...and I wont rely on MY BF to say if I got Fat or not as they give you the safest answer...

"Honey, did I gain weight since last time?"
"NO"
"Thats quick...your just saying that"
"of course not, you look great"

Note to self: the fact I ask ..means I am feeling a bit more pudgy from TOO much OILY food, alcohol or HORMONAL mood swings.

Another note to self: Dont BUY a bag of RUFFLES and finish it at one GO while watching TV.

____

I didnt eat dinner. So that Counts as dinner..hehehe
But I just ate half a spring chicken...and french fries

Cure: two Xenical PILLS
_______________

In my quest to get healthier and tigther...

**I will work out again. I bought a nice pair of workout outfit from NIKE to inspire me again.
**I will count my calories and try to eat more green.
**I will stop deluding myself that diet pills really help me loose weight and the only way that I will is if I work out and eat healthier.
**Stay away from KFC and any fast food, bag of chips, and anything SWEET.
**Stop drinking alcohol..Not entirely but EMPTY CALORIES should be avoided.
** Post a picture of Dita VON TEESE on my walls to inspire me to get a 22 inch waist.

This also GOES TO MY Friend Miss D. Miss D...Stay away from the chocolates, rice and CRISPY PATA!

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If You CouLd Read My Mind Love

If You CouLd Read My Mind Love
What a tale my thoughts would tello