i love life


i am a hopeless romantic and one bad date away from being cynical. i am a sucker for the written word. i love robert jordan, as much as that performance artist lady gaga or that crackwhore amy winehouse. i like reality shows and every tv show which exploits drama. I love TYRA, with her narcissism and her smize..i curse, weep and howl. i hate dumb people, and yet i think i am dumb most of the time. i am a drama queen, but i also smile the sweetest of smiles and bellow ear-shattering laughters. i frown at incompetence but screams for pleasure. i squirm when bored and squirm when tittilated. i am a connoisseur of visual and aural feasts--of all things ethereal and sublime ; ghastly and profane; a sense of aesthetics is my best friend, i like latex and pvc. i am a friend. a confidant. a lover. a mistress. a doting girlfriend. i am a creature who enjoys pigging-out on her favorite food in silence while watching crappy reality shows,then feels guilty after. i am butter melting deliciously on your tongue. i am narcissistic and extremely vain.a camera-whore who flirts with the lens on like, a regular basis. i am edward-smitten;and chris evan too.and everyday i adore a different man. i live in the present, and pop culture is my religion;i am always politically correct, but i think political correctness leads us to think like a herd, i dont think its a fault of people to think differently from mine, until we take the time to make a difference, but i take maliscious happiness in the misery of others and i religiously read perezhilton and tmz for my favorite celebrity like britney and others, and i secretly wish that lindsay will fuck it up , drink and sound the scram bracelet once more and be thrown in jail... . i am sometimes, laid back, i start and have no follow through like this blog which i have forgotten so many times. i am a person with so many gifts, and i feel like i owe it to myself to write my experiences, because i have been gifted with so much and i need to share it to the world,
.i kick myself when i fail, i hug myself when i succeed. i dare to live in waking dreams. i am a bit of a tragedy and a resounding success. i am beauty and ugliness. i love my body because its strong and i hate it because its strong. i always wish to be thinner, but i always wish to be healthier. i am a walking irony. i am dominant , but passive-aggressive. i am sane and crazy. i am happy and sad. i am shadow and light. agony and ecstasy. cold as ice. hot as fire. ..take a deep breathe
love me or hate me.
i am wholistic and i am real.
i am far from perfect.



cage me up

cage me up

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

i am back with a vengeance



so...i am back....
finally...after a long long long journey.
the fact that i came back to this blog means i really made it.
funny...how life takes you to wild turns that is both enjoyable and blinding.
first of all, i just want to thank all those people who has loved this blog....
and all i want to say right now is....I AM BACK....
three things I realized...
we dont need men to complete us. hallmark wisdom are for the hopeless romantic blinded by the freight train about to hit them.
second, its ok to be alone....as long as being alone means you are sorrounded by people who really cares for you.....( friends and family)...after all, they are the people who will always be there for you till the end( even if you look like a year old leather vuitton bag)\
third, dont forget who you are...I loved too much and compromised who I am to make people feel comfortable...but I started to believe my lesser self...and its NOT GOOD....
I deleted a good amount of this BLOG because some guys i date think that I sabotage myself from being a serial dater...
well fuck you all...i know its not ladylike.... but its the first time i can be honest because i am unattached.

I am a person who is too fabulous to be owned....I need to be shared.

yes i know im cocky...AND A LOT MORE CYNICAL...
but i guess with all these heartaches(twice engaged) ....it will take edward norton to tie me down...

but again...
now I hit the big 30....its a century in trannies world...
but what i have is more wisdom...and im not an empty husk of physical prowess....
whats in your head never age....and you can only tweak so much of how you look...

oh wow...it feels good venting.

all i can say now....
\
IM 30 and fuckin FABULOUS.... TAke that ( all u heartbreakers)

smile smile

time to turn on my samantha
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If You CouLd Read My Mind Love

If You CouLd Read My Mind Love
What a tale my thoughts would tello